UMass Amherst Common Read Blog

by Jen Potluri

Reading Make Your Home Among Strangers made me think about my own struggle with the idea of belonging. When I was nine years old, my parents decided to move to the United States from India. We moved away from life as we knew it and started over from scratch. Here I am, over ten years later, looking back at the rough path that got us here and everything I’ve learned along the way.

Anything is possible

I know it’s cheesy, but hear me out. If my parents could give up life as they knew it for over 30 years to move to a country they knew nothing about, anything is possible. I might’ve been too young to realize the risks associated with the move, but my parents knew exactly what they were doing. They knew what they were giving up and that it was all irreversible. Once we packed up and made the move, failure wasn’t an option.

Take nothing for granted

Everything that I am and everything that I have today did not come easily. Nothing came unearned and it sure as hell didn’t come easy. All the hard work and my parents’ dedication to give me the best life they possibly can is something I’ll never forget.

Picking a side of your identity is hard

At times, it’s hard to pick a side of my identity, especially when asked the question “what are you?” Yes, I’m Indian but it feels like I’m leaving out a huge part of my life when I only respond with that. However, it also does not feel right to say that I’m American because I’m not technically a U.S. citizen. The answer to a seemingly simple question can get complicated, proving once again that life isn’t black or white.

At the same time, don’t let other people tell you who you are

Never let other people tell you where you belong and more importantly, where you don’t. Over the years, I’ve heard many judgemental and rude comments ranging from “why would you move to the U.S.?” to “go back to where you’re from.” Even though majority of the people I have met over the past ten years in the U.S. have affected my life in a positive way, those few negative comments will always stay with me. Not because they’re something I fear, but because they remind me of how little the negativity has impacted me. They remind me that at the end of the day, the negative comments are not what run my life. My choices are what run my life because who I am matters way more than who other people think I should be.

Sometimes you belong to both and sometimes you belong to neither

Being the first generation in the U.S. is the reason why I get to be a part of two nations. I’m an Indian citizen living in the United States. My life has been shaped around two nations, two cultures. I’m beyond lucky to belong to two amazing countries. However, with the endless immigration papers and the reality that I no longer live in India, it’s easy to feel like I don’t belong anywhere. Sometimes it’s easy to get carried away and feel like I’m in lingo between two countries. There are ups and downs to life, and this is just one of them.

Do NOT settle

We were happy in India. We could’ve lived a content life, but it wasn’t the best. My parents did not want to settle for the life we had knowing that I would have a similar life when I grew up. They wanted something different for me, something better. They wanted me to grow up in a world with better education and opportunities that they could only dream of at the time. Most importantly, they wanted to set an example for me. Never settle for something when you know you can do better. Think you’re going to fail? You never know until you try.

Keep in mind that I didn’t always realize these things as I was going about my life. Like Lizet, I sometimes found myself confused and wondering why things were the way they were. It’s only in retrospect that I understood this: If my family had never moved, I would have never found the place that I now proudly call home. However, home would be nothing without the family and friends that make it what it is, the ones that fill me with love, strength, and support. With that said, this article is for my parents and everyone else who’s touched my life in one way or another.

Jen Potluri is a sophomore student majoring in Finance at UMass Amherst

 

The time has come for the Class of 2020 to start their first semester of college! Tomorrow will be your first day of college classes. A little anxiety is normal, but there’s no reason to be scared. You have all prepared for this and are ready to carry on. Already, there have been opportunities to get to know the community around you and learn about what the campus has to offer. This is only the beginning, there will be four years ahead to grow and learn. As you all progress and develop, do not forget to occasionally reflect on how you arrived to the places you reach and consider the fundamental ideas of your college experience that were produced through the Common Read program.

Common Read is unique in many ways, just like every incoming UMass student, who bring with them something new and special to the campus. The Common Read program can be whatever you make it to be. The concepts of diversity, inclusion, and community may be ideas or tools for you to use in your college experience and beyond in any way you wish. In the coming years of college, perhaps graduate school, and the world beyond higher education, there will be plenty of critical activities and issues affecting society that are relevant to what you have learned in the Common Read and what you will learn in school. UMass is no ordinary university; education here is not memorizing information, it is creating big ideas and thinking outside of the box. What you have learned so far and will learn in the next four years will be the tools you use to build  successful life.

It all started here, first with the Common Read and now with the first day of classes. As you settle into your new home among strangers, who may already be becoming a thriving community, do not forget to think back about Lizet’s experience in Make Your Home Among Strangers. Her story is inspirational and eye-opening. Hopefully, the narrative is empowering for all of the new UMass students as you learn the ropes of higher education and begin this grand adventure. Furthermore, recall that Lizet passionately pursued her dreams, overcoming significant stress and obstacles, to acquire a job in the field she was interested in. With passion and perseverance, you all will rise and accomplish your goals as well. An amazing four years lies ahead and a great expanse of opportunity is beyond that. Good luck in your journey with this diverse group of strangers, may you feel welcome and at home, and never forget that you are not alone, all of you are in this together.

 

It is almost here, the first semester of college for the Class of 2020! Presumably it has been a long summer of preparation (and hopefully reading!). Now the time has come to proceed into the next stage of your lives: UMass. As you all ready yourselves for this huge leap forward in your lives, you may wonder why the Common Read is the program used to welcome the incoming class of first years. Each year the Common Read sets out to find a socially relevant and thought provoking book to gift the incoming class. The gift of a book has many functions; it provides the exciting reading experience, the opportunity to learn, a topic of discussion, common ground among fellow students, and then chances to learn some more. The Common Read helps integrate new students into the university environment by bringing them in with a shared experience that is conducive to education, good conversation, and community-building.

Make Your Home Among Strangers expands on the classic coming-of-age story, with Lizet, a girl that has spent her whole life in Hialeah, a low-income, majority Hispanic neighborhood, leaving to an elite college many states away. This year, the story is meant to inspire, allow for a sneak peek at life at college, and consider the diverse backgrounds of people that come to college. The themes of this year’s Common Read include the experience of first-generation college students, diversity on campus, and home and belonging. The power of this narrative is meant to enlighten and establish thoughtful dialogues about diversity and the college experience. These are important things for incoming UMass students to be thinking about as well. Thus, with the Common Read this year we are hoping to foster an environment of inclusion and help new students from all walks of life feel as though they have a home at UMass.

The Common Read functions as a way to ease new students into college. UMass has a whole world of exciting opportunities to offer; it may truly be overwhelming. You know from the book that Lizet did not have the hang of things right away. The transition can be trying and nerve-racking, but with the Common Read, everyone is in this together, unified in this major step forward. It does not all end when the semester begins. Jennine Capo Crucet, the author of Make Your Home Among Strangers, will visit campus later in September to keep the dialogue going and guide you forward with discussion about social issues, education, and the future. In these ways, the Common Read adds up to much more than a book. With this program, you will be aided forward as you all make some of the biggest development and decisions of your life. What lies ahead is an incredible experience full of new people and space to grow. We wish you the best of luck and hope Make Your Home Among Strangers has had a positive impact on everyone! Again, welcome UMass Class of 2020.

 

While we may all enter college as equals, the paths to this point have been different and far from equal. When adults who did not attend college make less than those who did, their children may be at a disadvantage. However, all incoming first years with diverse backgrounds and paths ahead are in college to work hard and succeed. The unique experiences that have brought everyone here ought to be recognized and supported. We do not benefit by making assumptions about one another, but about learning from each other, which is what all of us came here to do in the first place. There is no reason to treat anyone differently than the rest of us because each student is pursuing their own dream.

Lizet struggled to reconcile with her family in the wake of her parents’ divorce and her leaving Hialeah for college. Every development in college leads to more strain in Lizet’s relationship with her family. How is resolve possible? The extra effort that Lizet puts in to uphold her Miami life and Rawlings life is an unfair struggle that she works hard to sustain. She perseveres because of the goals she went to Rawlings to pursue, but her past cannot be erased, just as our pasts are a part of us. Not all of us are going to be venturing back and forth from college to Florida to be picking up the pieces of our life before college, maybe none of us will be. Regardless, with the first semester of university lying mere months ahead, consider that the transition does not have to be perfect and may very well be difficult for some.

Lizet was able to leave Hialeah. She may have gathered a boatload of student debt, but she had the opportunity to get a degree and do something that she loves. That is special; it is certainly not universal. Recall the confrontation between Lizet and a man at the Ariel Hernandez gathering or even the tension between her and her cousins. Lizet feels guilt for leaving and many are upset as they feel left. Moving from your home is emotionally complex and that feeling may not disappear upon arrival at college. We are coming together with an array of stories and feelings; Lizet’s, like each of ours, is one among many.

When the reader first meets Lizet in Make Your Home Among Strangers she is 10 years out of college, professionally testing water from canals on the West Coast, far from her Miami origins or uncertainty about what she wanted to study. It must be hard to imagine what those of you reading the Common Read now will be doing in 10 years. Perhaps some of you will be testing canal water in California and loving it. Not knowing where you will end up is okay, most people have no idea! That is what college is for, aiding students in structuring their future. At UMass you will learn to think innovatively and plan for the future. As Make Your Home Among Strangers indicates, this will be a journey that is neither plain nor simple, but formative and exciting.

Lizet initially chose to pursue a degree in Biology because she thought it might be easy and, of course, it was not. College is not supposed to be easy; it’s supposed to be an ambitious and challenging adventure. By leaving everything she knew to attend an elite school across the country, Lizet accepted the challenge, just as all of you have for enrolling at UMass. College is where people find their niche, while also opening their eyes to the many fields of study and ideas in the world. This year’s Common Read aims to create an understanding of the way this opportunity can be life-changing. You may have issues in your life or be uncertain about what you want to do, but that is okay because, as Lizet demonstrated, all you really need is passion. She persevered in Biology even when her life was full of conflict and sources of stress. Pressing onward with optimism and being eager to learn will bring you to your goals no matter what.

The social atmosphere of college also contributes to the building of character and the empowerment of students that allows them to follow their dreams. As Lizet began to find her niche in college, it was clear that she was also developing as a person and academic. She opened her mind to all of the possibilities in front of her and utilized the resources her campus had to offer. College is a time for exploration; you have the opportunity to try countless new things through clubs, events, and a mind-blowingly large catalogue of classes. You certainly do not have to be ready for the world after college yet, but the Common Read is meant to ready you for the new and wonderful things you will experience as you figure out just exactly what path you will follow.

Attending a university is not all about the new things that make up college life, but is also defined by what college life is not. For Lizet, college is not Hialeah. College, for Lizet, is well over a thousand miles from Hialeah, without family and without the culture that was an integral part of her growing up. The absence of family, of the home that Lizet developed in, shapes her experience. This is not to say “you will miss your family” or “college will strain your relationships and make life hard,” but understanding Lizet’s complicated family relationship is crucial to preparing for your steps forward in education.

Lizet’s family had a history of clashing, which laid the groundwork for strained family relationships, not Lizet’s progression to college. She is occasionally shamed or criticized for her choice to leave Hialeah and go to college. Additionally, Lizet’s situation presents this idea of guilt about attending college, a costly, time-intensive endeavor, when nobody in her family has previously gone. But, why? Should these burdens really rest on Lizet’s shoulder’s? College is a wonderful opportunity to rise and succeed; it does not mean turning your back on your family or any of your life from before college. Lizet’s family, in the wake of divorce, moving, and neighborhood drama, may easily be able to point blame towards Lizet, who is absent. For Lizet, it may be natural for her to feel guilty about these issues, but she has done nothing wrong.
The distance between you and your family while you are at UMass may be less than Lizet and her family, or it may be even greater. You may be the first in your family to attend college or you may not. Either way, this is okay and it is possible to maintain healthy communication with your family from college. For one, it is no longer 1999, when Lizet went to college; there are countless more ways to stay connected now. More importantly, a key point of Lizet’s family issues is they existed well before she went to college, meaning families may be physically divided, but your relationships are not damaged by a move to college, they are simply changed. Worries and guilt may be natural, but unfounded; like Lizet you will find a means for reconciliation and sustainable relationships. Big changes means big decisions, but they do not mean you are wrong for making these changes.

“And much later, I’d learn from other first-in-the-family-to-go-to-college people…that I wasn’t alone.” Lizet reflects in this narration on her struggles, years after she was at Rawlings College. Leaving home to go to college shortly after her parents got a divorce took an emotional toll on Lizet. The circumstances in Make Your Home Among Strangers are exceptionally dramatic, but consideration of the well-being of those around us at college and of our own well-being are necessary to make the campus community healthy, safe, and inclusive.

Each incoming first-year will enter college with a social, economic, or cultural background that may be unknown to the thousands of other strangers in the Class of 2020. The emotional roller coaster of high school ending and ramping right back up a short summer later to go to college can be exhausting. Furthermore, people often deal with stress that comes from a source external to college. Lizet felt responsible for her family and often felt the burden of the issues they were dealing with over a thousand miles away. She was right, though; she was not alone. Many people have trouble adjusting to the college environment. Plenty of people who are the first in their family to attend college may feel stress and guilt about not being there for their family. However, there are support groups and healthy stress relief methods. Maintaining good mental health and supporting those who struggle helps foster happy and welcoming communities on campus. Being a college student requires a great deal of time and energy – it can be emotionally exhausting, but you certainly do not have to go it alone.

At UMass, the Center for Counseling and Psychological Health provides a variety of services for guidance, counseling, and emotional support. Their services are diversified to have programs for everyone, ranging from meditation to anxiety support groups to LGBTQIA+ support groups. Additionally, the Center for Multicultural Advancement and Student Success runs numerous cultural centers that host events and run programs that are informative, supportive, and may help you find a sense of belonging on campus. Leaving home for college is life-changing and sometimes jarring, but there are organizations and people that aim to relieve the great stress that these changes may induce. At UMass, student welfare comes first because happiness is the key to success.

As you can probably guess, in college you will meet quite a few new people. This is an excellent opportunity to expand your network, find out about the different aspects of UMass, and, of course, have fun. Socializing may be difficult, and while there are plenty of strong, lasting friendships to be made at college, determining what makes a friendship healthy or unhealthy is not always straightforward. In Make Your Home Among Strangers, Lizet finds herself in strenuous relationships and in the midst of numerous conflicts, which inevitably make her life much more stressful. Laying the path ahead for your college experience entails learning what types of relationships will be gratifying and conducive to success and what relationships are abusive or problematic.

Friendships and relationships are complicated, building healthy ones and hanging out with the right people is much easier said than done. Lizet often questions  the relationships in her life, as she grapples with establishing her identity and pursuing an education. Her relationship with her boyfriend Omar can be seen as toxic at times, even when he is supportive. Long-distance relationships do not have to be this way and are not always like this. It is important to clarify your priorities and focuses, which Lizet eventually does on her own terms, by choosing to focus on her education and not on an unhealthy relationship. Similarly, Lizet’s roommate and other members of her residence hall often overlooked her personality and background, treating her ignorantly, despite seeming friendly. It takes time before Lizet realizes why it bothers her that her roommate always introduces her with “This is my roommate, Liz. She’s Cuban.” However, as Lizet grows to reconcile her relationship with her family and focus more on schooling, she comes to better understand the struggles she faces and the problematic behavior of the people in her life.
People don’t have to be perfect. Reading Make Your Home Among Strangers is not supposed to make you pessimistic about all of the people you will meet in college. Instead, this text is intended to demonstrate that coping is not always easy, but some stresses are from external sources. Being able to identify negative influences in your life will be helpful when structuring your path to the future. Of course, there are friends out there who are supportive and allow you to thrive. Ethan’s friendship with Lizet clearly lifted her out of the academic and emotional rut that she was in during her first year at school. These are the type of friendships that we at the Common Read hope first-year students will build at UMass Amherst. Attending college is about far more than education – developing a social circle and networking are significant endeavors in college as well, as the friendships you build in college may likely be the fruitful ones that lead you down a path to success.

“This is my roommate, Liz. She’s Cuban,” was how Lizet’s roommate always introduced her to people at Rawlings College. This introduction consistently bothered her, but she had trouble determining why and said nothing about it. Later, upon an outburst Lizet has over a divisive issue, it becomes clear that she is tired of being identified as Cuban as if it is the only aspect of her identity. To take people at face value and treat them that way is marginalizing, which is contradictory to the efforts that are made towards equality and inclusion at university, especially at UMass Amherst.

Make Your Home Among Strangers portrays a story of identity struggles and marginalization. Trying to understand who she is and what is her place at college was a trying experience for Lizet that at times seemed to lack answers. Talking about our problems and backgrounds is necessary for everyone to understand the people around themselves and their environment. Lizet felt excluded from her family, as they failed to discuss the social, cultural, and economic issues that they were dealing with together. Meanwhile, peers at school excluded Lizet, as they failed to learn more about her background and identity. There is much to gain from learning about one another and much to lose through ignorance. UMass goes to great lengths to assure the inclusion and equal treatment of their staff and students; reading and learning about the social stresses of feeling marginalized or excluded are critical to fostering a more inclusive environment.

Community-building is a process; it takes time to get to know people and strengthen bonds between them. However, inclusion is easy. All you have to do is keep an open mind and be willing to accept the experiences of others. The Class of 2020 is entering UMass as a group, you will all grow and succeed alongside each other. The diverse experiences and identities of the Class of 2020 will contribute much knowledge and culture to the campus, demonstrating that inclusion has many benefits and is a wonderful way to carry out building a community and home on campus.

Lizet traveled over one thousand miles to Rawlings College and did not know a single person there. Maybe your journey to UMass will be similar. We know, it is scary entering a new stage of your life, especially without a social circle for support. Luckily, the Common Read is here to help you make connections and UMass’s many resources, groups, and clubs, will certainly not leave you hanging. In Make Your Home Among Strangers, finding a place among people of all different backgrounds appears as an incredible struggle, but college is not always so arduous. At UMass, efforts are continuously made to establish inclusion and understanding.

No one can ever completely grasp the personal experience of another, even shared experiences among cultures and communities vary among individuals. Lizet struggles greatly with this, with everyone at college treating her as if her Cuban heritage is the only aspect of her identity. The need for understanding in diversity and inclusion efforts at the University means a need for openness. UMass’s openness to all walks of life is facilitated by new student’s orientation, student staff and diversity resources.
Lizet met Ethan, who is a guiding force for her. Resident Assistants, like Ethan, are there for support all the time. PMs provide an additional source of guidance as you transition to college life. Get to know your PM and your RA, they’re there to help. Regardless, it cannot be forgotten that Lizet’s experience was complex, new social environments tend to be. If you are worried, you’re not alone, but while Lizet’s story may be relatable, your time in college may have a much more positive outlook. You will be entering college with thousands of students who are just as new to this as you are. Furthermore, you will all have the Common Read as a shared experience that can open up conversation and build new friendships. Some of you may be in Residential Academic Programs, others in Defined Residential Communities, to be surrounded by people who share traits or interests, but all of you will be surrounded by strangers. Among those strangers there is a home to be made for you and there are new friends to meet.