As you can probably guess, in college you will meet quite a few new people. This is an excellent opportunity to expand your network, find out about the different aspects of UMass, and, of course, have fun. Socializing may be difficult, and while there are plenty of strong, lasting friendships to be made at college, determining what makes a friendship healthy or unhealthy is not always straightforward. In Make Your Home Among Strangers, Lizet finds herself in strenuous relationships and in the midst of numerous conflicts, which inevitably make her life much more stressful. Laying the path ahead for your college experience entails learning what types of relationships will be gratifying and conducive to success and what relationships are abusive or problematic.
Friendships and relationships are complicated, building healthy ones and hanging out with the right people is much easier said than done. Lizet often questions the relationships in her life, as she grapples with establishing her identity and pursuing an education. Her relationship with her boyfriend Omar can be seen as toxic at times, even when he is supportive. Long-distance relationships do not have to be this way and are not always like this. It is important to clarify your priorities and focuses, which Lizet eventually does on her own terms, by choosing to focus on her education and not on an unhealthy relationship. Similarly, Lizet’s roommate and other members of her residence hall often overlooked her personality and background, treating her ignorantly, despite seeming friendly. It takes time before Lizet realizes why it bothers her that her roommate always introduces her with “This is my roommate, Liz. She’s Cuban.” However, as Lizet grows to reconcile her relationship with her family and focus more on schooling, she comes to better understand the struggles she faces and the problematic behavior of the people in her life.
People don’t have to be perfect. Reading Make Your Home Among Strangers is not supposed to make you pessimistic about all of the people you will meet in college. Instead, this text is intended to demonstrate that coping is not always easy, but some stresses are from external sources. Being able to identify negative influences in your life will be helpful when structuring your path to the future. Of course, there are friends out there who are supportive and allow you to thrive. Ethan’s friendship with Lizet clearly lifted her out of the academic and emotional rut that she was in during her first year at school. These are the type of friendships that we at the Common Read hope first-year students will build at UMass Amherst. Attending college is about far more than education – developing a social circle and networking are significant endeavors in college as well, as the friendships you build in college may likely be the fruitful ones that lead you down a path to success.