Mr. Crowe

The history class strolled through the door, laughing amongst themselves. One student remembered their teacher telling the kids he would not be in the next day, naturally making the pupils intrigued as to who the substitute would be. Hopefully he, or she, did not have a mousy face. (Vinny, the class clown, hated mousy faces.)

Taking their seats, the murmurous students noticed “Mr. C” had been written on the chalkboard by a man who had his back turned to the class.

“Who’s Mr. C?” one student asked another.

“I don’t know, I’ve never heard of him before,” came the response and various whisperings were barely audible throughout the rest of the classroom. 

Suddenly, the man stopped writing and the piece of chalk was placed on a tray below the board, while a becoming silence enveloped the room. The students anxiously waited for this man of mystery to reveal himself, as he clapped his hands together, let his arms fall to his sides, and spun around with a confidence only a superhuman social magician could possess. That would be because he was Russell Crowe. 

He smiled out of the corner of his mouth, looked from one wondrous eye to another, and spoke. “Hey kids. I’m Russell Crowe.”

The class continued to remain silent for a brief moment longer until one pupil in the back row slowly started to clap. Soon, the rest of the class joined in and before Mr. C knew it, the entire room was filled with applause and cheers, hoots and hollers.

“Now, kids, settle down.” Russell Crowe tried to instruct, eager to edify the young minds of tomorrow and influence the future. But he couldn’t help smiling and chuckling aloud to the reaction of his denouement.

Soon, chants of “CROWE! CROWE! CROWE! CROWE!” broke out amongst the classroom’s kids. Russell Crowe laughed and shook the hand of every student in the room.

“Now, class, we must remain calm.” Russell Crowe said, wearing a pair of pleated khakis, a tucked-in, button-down, plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal his delicately trimmed arm hair, and loafers from Zappos. “What have you been learning about?”

One high schooler spoke up. “The naval battles between the French and the English during the Napoleonic Wars.”

Russell Crowe smiled and looked down before folding his hands and lifting his head in pride, awaiting the inevitable cheers that would break out when he spoke again. “I’ve got just the thing.”

With that, he popped Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World into the classroom DVD player. The musical interlude could barely be heard over the resounding cheers that only Russell Crowe could evoke in a group of students.

Image Source: The Talks