Construction of the Alfred E. Neuman Neuroscience Research Center has been approved. This building employs Open Ergonomic Systems in Science (ANOESIS). The importance of neuroscience on the UMass campus has been recognized by its central location in the current campus pond. After extended negotiation with the wetlands protection agency, it was determined that this 10 story research building would have a more positive effect on the environment than a drainage ditch with fountains. The new building will be funded completely by sales of signature goose down vests made from the displaced Canada geese. The A.E. Neuman NRC will be hiring 7 new faculty forming a research cluster to study the neural basis of gullibility.

Happy April Fools Day!