I was placed in an ESL (English as a second language) class in third or fourth grade. I was unaware at the fact that I was going to lose my ability to speak the Spanish language fluently. I learned grammar rules, wrote essays and conversed with the teacher in English. I eventually became “proficient” in English and was placed in regular classes with monolingual children.
At the beginning of Fall semester 2018, I met with my advisor about studying abroad in Spain, Salamanca. (I was currently taking the 240 Spanish course.) She said to me in Spanish, “Why are you taking that Spanish course? You already know Spanish.” I was embarrassed to tell her that I barely knew anything about the grammar rules in Spanish. I spoke back to her in Spanish making sure to avoid making any mistakes, afraid that she would figure me out. She proceeds, “you can easily take the Spanish proficiency test and receive all the credits you need because you are a native speaker.” I believed her and made the appointment to take the test the following week. (My family speaks Spanish; I attend a Hispanic church and I can do what I call “defend myself” in conversations.)

On the day of the test, I entered the professor’s office. She spoke to me in Spanish and told me to read a paragraph and answer a few questions in the language. I had a flashback to third/fourth grade when I had to do everything in English. After taking the Spanish proficiency test, I felt embarrassed and a bit discouraged. I knew I would not test out of it. I was honest with myself. I couldn’t learn Spanish in an educational setting growing up, but now I have that opportunity.

Its been a year since I took the Spanish proficiency test. During that time, I was making my own major titled Cross-Cultural Translation. I was learning every other language besides my own. For example, I had taken Chinese my first semester as a transfer. There was a time in my life when people would ask me why I wouldn’t learn my own language. I knew I wanted to be an interpreter and yet it never occurred to me that I should major in Spanish. The suggestion would go right through one ear and out the other. Now its my last year in college. I am completing my Spanish major in one year. I will finish my degree by studying abroad in Spain, Salamanca. It took me five years to figure out what I wanted to major in. The answer was right in front of me this whole time. But I don’t regret any of the courses I took prior to my Spanish major.

I am upset at the educational systems and American Society that supports English as the dominant language. However, I am thankful that I was raised in a Puerto Rican household and grew up surrounded by friends and family that spoke Spanish. My Spanish might be considered broken by those who fluently speak it, but I am improving it every day and I speak it a lot better than I used to.

I am looking forward to supporting the embracement of diversity of different languages and cultures in educational systems. I am learning that it is more than a language. There are different layers and complexities within it. Therefore, in this season of my life, I am in the process of learning about racial reconciliation and embracing my own ethnic identity within the plan and purpose of God.