Before studying abroad in Madrid, I’ve always had the feeling of discomfort and fear about how my ethnic background would be perceived in a cross-cultural context. When I decided to study abroad, I spent a significant of time reading through forums and blogs from other Asian-Americans who had studied abroad in Spain to learn about how their experience was. Especially in Madrid, I found out that there was an Asian presence, particular Chinese, due to the increased immigration in the 80s. Amongst my research, I learned that Spaniards called convenient stores el chino and that there was a disconnect between the harmonies of both populations. Ever since I started the Spanish major, I was generally a minority amongst the white and Latino students that dominate the classes, so I had already prepared myself for this reality when I went abroad.

My experience being Asian-American in Spain was a blessing but also surfaced a lot of frustration at times. Since I possess physical characteristics of being Asian, it was always the topic of conversation. After making some Spanish friends, I brought up the conversation of how Asians are perceived in Spain, and there was a general consensus that the immigrant populations stay amongst themselves with their shops and do not interact with Spaniards. From a linguistic and cultural perspective, it made sense to me, because the clash between the West and the East is a difficult cultural barrier to overcome, and the extra language barrier adds a deeper layer of struggle. However, my identity being Asian-American was perceived differently once I was mentioned that I was American. Many times, I found find myself defending my American nationality, since many Spaniards did not believe I was American because I was not white, but I was treated differently when this citizenship was brought up.

There were many times where I was made fun of or even publicly embarrassed in Spain, but that never stopped me from penetrating into the in-group of local Spanish culture. I vividly remember a time when a Spanish local brought up the fact that I was chino (even though I am half Chinese and half Vietnamese) and started making me pronounce words such as arroz, because the Asian-accented Spanish generally lacks the linguistic feature of rolling r’s. Another time, I was in a gay bar, as the only Asian-American there, I was called up by a drag queen on stage and was humiliated by the racist gestures they made, particularly with the bows and saying konichiwa, calling me chino, etc. It is one thing to discuss being Asian-American in Spain, but being a gay, Asian-American in Spain adds another layer of complexity which is a different story. However, moments like these never struck me to elicit anger, rather I used it as an opportunity to talk about my background and identities to provide a better understanding of a group that is otherwise widely misunderstood in the European world. Especially, as a Spanish major, I was genuinely interested in collaborating with Spanish culture and language; and when Spaniards heard my speak well, they were absolutely shocked, which turned into admiration.

So, despite the trials and tribulations I underwent with my identity in Spain, it was a blessing in disguise. One of the major benefits that I reaped was that I have never been approached by a Spaniard in English, compared to my white peers who had deeply struggled to initiate a conversation in only Spanish. My speculation is that some people assumed that there was no shared communication node between us–since I look physically Asian, it could not be interpreted that I might be able to speak English, which led to seamless communication. Also, I realized that I was an exception, in other words, I was someone who surpassed the stereotypes that were imposed on Asians in Spain, since I spoke well, dressed European, and genuinely was interested in the culture. This gave me the membership in the smaller, local, social circles in Madrid. One last anecdote that resonated with me was when I was walking to my internship site  and was approached by a Spanish woman who was selling flowers for Valentine’s day under a charitable cause. She asked if I would like to buy a rose for 2 euros and I agreed, so she began thanking me in Spanish and mentioning that Asians usually do not try to talk to Spaniards and that they are very distant and disconnected in general. Moments like these were rewarding, because my experience served as a way to uplift some of the ignorance that is present in Spain. Although I am only one person, the interactions that I had were able to change some perceptions Spaniards had, and opened their mind to diversity in Asian culture. So, the difficulties my ethnic background and nationality brought up in Spain was a blessing in disguise.