When I started touring universities in high school, I had no idea what I was looking for.  I had yet to reflect on what I wanted out of my college experience. Even the thought of addressing my future scared me. As a result, I did not know what to look for in colleges. However, the one thing I remained decisive about was that I wanted to study abroad in college.  This did not narrow down my decision since most universities I considered had study abroad programs, but I clung to it. In the end, my decision came down to money. The school that offered me the most financial aid turned out to be Providence College in Providence, Rhode Island.  

At Providence, nearly all study abroad students spend the fall semester of their junior year in Barcelona.  I am sure that if I had stayed at Providence, I would have followed this path most travelled. However, I did not stay at Providence.  I had to learn what I wanted out of my college experience the hard way, and as soon as I got to Providence I realized I needed a less homogenous campus culture.  So after a year there, I transferred to UMass.

Even at UMass, I stayed set on studying abroad in Spain.  I reasoned that I had learned the most about Spain in my Spanish classes, so I would appreciate Spain more than other Spanish-speaking countries.  I remember saying these exact words in my presentation in the first course of the integrative experience in Luis’s class. The logic still makes sense to me, but it is deeply problematic.  At the time I did not realize that the dominance of Spain in the classroom perpetuates Euro-centricity. A side effect of this is influencing students to study abroad in and appreciate Spain over Central and South America.

Even with having Spain narrowed down, my anxiety over making future plans returned.  In the fall semester of my junior year, my friends had already decided on study abroad programs in Italy and Australia, but I was still struggling to make a decision.  I even met with IPO to ask questions about programs. I told advisors that I wanted to go to Spain and that my overall goal was to attain some degree of Spanish fluency.  When I thought I had narrowed it down to either San Sebastian or Salamanca, something still felt off; so I made an appointment with Luis to receive some advice on the matter.

I went into Luis’ office pretty late in the semester, still set on Spain.  But when I left the office, I was set on Cusco, Perú. This was not what I expected.  We searched through the study abroad programs when we stumbled upon ISA Cusco. Luis really recommended the program because it offered a service-learning component.  I agreed with him because service-learning was an opportunity to further practice Spanish and make connections with the local community. I was still hesitant. Luis asked if I was scared and I answered honestly, saying yes.  

I was scared because everything I had heard about South America up to that point had been largely negative.  South America is synonymous with danger, violence, and drug trafficking in the mainstream United States culture.  We are indoctrinated with these toxic misconceptions, with selective media coverage and words of covert racism from White America seeming to back up said misconceptions.  For example, at work the winter before I left, my coworkers were very concerned about me going to Perú. They warned me to bring my own medicine and feminine hygiene products.  One boss was worried that I would become a victim of human trafficking. Customers regularly told me phrases along the lines of, “Take care of yourself down there,” a seemingly innocent statement that is laced with undertones of warning and fear.

Moral of the story, I was scared, but I felt like I had to go.  I knew if I had stayed at Providence, I would have never had the opportunity to go to South America.  I did not want to follow the beaten path. I wanted to expand my worldview past Europe and the United States.  

So I went to Cusco, Perú.  It turned out to be one of the best choices of my life, but this feeling was not immediate.  I arrived in Cusco in the afternoon. Our program dropped me off at my host family’s house, and there I met my host mother, Esperanza, for the first time.  She had soup prepared for me and I remember eating it while holding back tears because I was overtired, overwhelmed, and underwhelmed simultaneously. Thankfully, I made it through the meal without her noticing.  I then excused myself to my room to nap, and had a full breakdown. I thought I had made a mistake. It was not what I thought it would be.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

I now realize that I was expecting Spain, but instead I got Perú.  I thought I wanted a city with a mix of coherent colonial European architecture with a modern feel.  Instead, I got what I considered to be a bunch of random buildings unceremoniously built and placed together.  Looking back, I am honestly embarrassed and ashamed. This line of thinking exposed my privileged Eurocentricity, glorifying the thought of Spanish cities over the reality of Cusco.  But, I am proud that I quickly pulled myself out of these unwarranted comparisons. I went to bed googling if it was too late to choose a different program. But once I woke up, I told myself that I had made my decision, and that I was going to make the most of it.  A professor in Cusco told us during the first week of school to take out the United States chip in our minds and replace it with a Peru chip; this is precisely what I did when I woke up that first morning.  

Using the Peru lens made a world of difference, literally.  I came to appreciate the beauty of Cusco, that I had previously pitted myself against.  I loved how each building had its own character, each different from the next. I loved seeing the same stray dogs on my walk to class.  I loved the little garden I cut through every day. I loved the view of the Orthodontist office from my room. I loved that the mountains were in the background of everywhere I went in Cusco.  I loved the constant beeping of the cars. I loved being surrounded by Incan history, culture, and pride; much of the architecture at the Plaza de Armas was authentically Incan. I loved how welcomed I felt by my host family, local friends, and the people at my service-learning position.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I also loved that I felt safe in Cusco.  I genuinely never once felt unsafe, disproving all the warnings I received and fear I felt.  The gross exaggerations of violence in South America are unfair. Anything can happen anywhere at any time, but countries outside of the United States and Europe purview are disproportionately viewed as dangerous.  Cusco taught me that.  

Studying abroad in Cusco also made me realize the beauty of making a place across the world feel like home.  Unlike what I have seen as the typical European study abroad experience where people travel to other countries for most weekends, I stayed in Cusco and Perú as a country for most of my time abroad.  As a result, Perú, and Cusco as a whole, became a comfort zone for me, and I still see them as a home away from home. 

I loved my time in Cusco because I think I accomplished my goals of attaining cultural and Spanish fluency with more success than I would have found studying abroad in Spain or somewhere else.  I had breakfast, lunch, and dinner with my host family most days. We spoke in Spanish for all those meals – about music, television shows, horoscope signs, food, health, Peruvian culture and history.  I took three out of four classes in Spanish. I made local friends that I would see during the week and on the weekend. And most especially, service-learning gave me the opportunity to spend four to five days a week in either a Peruvian after-school program and kindergarten.  I cannot say enough about how much I loved my time with the children there. They taught me to enjoy the little moments in life, to find the fun in more difficult moments, and to live as I pleased. They were the highlight of my trip.  

Studying abroad in Cusco changed my life.  Eurocentric misconceptions I had held in my mind unraveled themselves, thus spurring forward my development as a conscious human in the global society.