I am writing this blog post a little more than a month before I would have been leaving for Madrid last school year, but still in 2020. Ah yes, I still think about it literally everyday. It is now nearly a year later: December 8, 2020 and I just ended my fall semester of my senior year of college. Such a weird semester. Weird, nostalgic, different, to say the least, but not entirely bad. This time last year I was prepping to go on the biggest trip and experience thus far in my life: I was so incredibly excited, ready, and nervous, too. I’ve been abroad before and to this city a handful of time, but this time was going to be different: it was abroad. I do think in some ways “studying abroad” can be too romanticized, because you picture young college students going abroad to a country that they know nothing of and just partying all the time, but obviously that’s not the case for everybody. As well as the concept of: “young student goes abroad to a foreign city and finds herself”, but there’s nothing wrong with that, because #mood, that is so relatable and I felt the same way. But the concept of studying abroad, at least my goals, were to broaden my horizons, meet new people, discover what I am capable of on my own, and soak in a culture, and that is why having my experience just cut short hurt so bad. Yes of course there will be plenty of time and opportunities in my life/our lives to travel, but there will never be a time where we are this young, wide eyed and hungry for fun and adventure, and literally have no responsibilities, but to see the world and have the time of our lives.

So, traveling back to January 29, 2020. I thought 2020 was going to be the year I got everything I wanted for my junior year: finally getting my chance to live in Madrid for about 5 months and getting my summer internship. But instead, 2020 was the year I learned to appreciate everything I had (quote from a picture I saw on Instagram). There were a few familiar names of people in my program, a couple from class and some mutual friends. I chose a different route than most of the people in my friend group/ social sphere who went to Barcelona. I finally convinced one of my best friends to go with me, because I was panicking that I was going to have to go alone (lol). So we flew in together and I literally still remember that first (because it was so incredibly long). We ended up having to stay in Madrid-Barajas airport for three or four hours or something because we didn’t meet our group at the gate in time. So my friend and I sat there and ate breakfast feeling so excited, but anxious, and tired. We finally got picked up and went to our hotel in the Sol neighborhood where we would have our welcome orientation for a few days.

I was so ready to show Madrid to my friend and to experience these months with her and everyone I was going to meet. To me, this time was also different because the previous times I went to Madrid was during the summer. I had gone with a group of my friends to see our Spanish friends that we did an exchange with in high school, and this time I was going to have an experience that was completely my own. One of the most exciting days was going to our places of residence: apartment, residencia (dorm), or homestays. I lived in a residencia in Malasaña, a young, lively neighborhood, and most of the friends I made abroad lived there as well. I don’t know how to word this because I know it just won’t do it justice: but my location was the best spot EVER and most likely the best spot I will live in in my life. It was right in the heart of the city with literally all the cutest and best cafés and stores, it was literally minutes away from Gran Vía (a huge commercial street with the best shopping), so many young people, and there were 2 metro stops right outdside my door. It was lively, it was exciting, it was literally exactly what I was looking for and needed.

Before long I had my routine down: some days I had class early, at 8 AM, so my friend and I would take the metro and walk together. After class we would grab breakfast at the many, many bakeries and meet up with friends, head home or go shopping, rest, go out. Something along those lines. Out of our 7ish weeks there, we spent half of them in the city and half away. Most of my friends and I had the same idea, we wanted to experience Madrid itself and actually live there and not go away every single weekend. Even though our experience abroad got cut short, I’m still glad we did this because we really appreciated how amazing the city was, especially our neighborhood, Malasaña. The moment where we realized how truly beautiful and unique it was, was when we came back from Switzerland. We were so exhausted after a gorgeous, but expensive weekend in Interlaken: views and memories I will cherish forever. But I remember we were wandering the streets looking for a place to eat and (not exaggerating), every time we turned the corner there was something that made us go “Wow! Guys look, I can’t believe we’ve never seen this/ been here before.” And we thought we knew the city already. There were so many yummy places to eat, cool vintage shops, beautiful streets, cute bookstores, lively people sitting and eating outside. I think it was that moment we truly realized how lucky we were to be in this neighborhood.

Things were so normal and so fine. I don’t remember when it was that we started hearing about “coronavirus”. But as everyone did in the early days, we thought it was “just the flu”, “we’re young, we’re gonna be fine”, and “it’s not a big deal”. We didn’t think much of it. And then all of a sudden in the middle of February, my friends and other people I knew studying in Italy were being sent home. My heart broke for them. Before they were officially sent home, we heard rumors and then confirmed stories of US universities pulling their students out of Italy and cancelling programs. I never thought that it would get so bad and dangerous that UMass would do that and that it would happen to people I knew, let alone myself. We had a good three weeks run before the virus got a hold of Madrid.

Our last trip was to Sevilla. It’s so weird looking back, because we took a crammed overnight 6 hour bus ride from Madrid to Sevilla, then lived and went about our days and night as normal. But that, right before literally everything shut down and the way of life as we knew it was gone. The virus was literally breeding among us, but we had no idea how much it would shake up our lives for months and months to come. I don’t remember what day it was, but it was after that weekend the first week of March. We were going to classes and things felt so normal, and then all of a sudden we got an email from Universidad Nebrija, that classes were going to be online for the rest of the semester. We were all confused and scared. People who were studying abroad that knew me constantly would ask me and other people who were in Madrid, what was going on, if we were going home, if they were going to go home. Things changed LITERALLY overnight, so quick.

So when we (my friends and I) first heard that classes were going to be online for the rest of the semester, we were praying and praying that that was it and we could stay. We tried to see the bright side and said we could travel more now! I remember being at Retiro Park laying on the grass, playing cards, and listening to music. We were talking about the situation obviously. More and more American universities were ending their programs abroad and making their students come home. I was so hopeful and the idea that we would be sent home, never reached my mind because I couldn’t and wouldn’t grasp that reality. So eventually doomsday did come. I was sound asleep, and my roommate/best friend that went abroad with me, woke me up and was crying, and said we’re going home. I think her saying that sent shock waves to me because I truly was sound asleep. I woke up panicking, thought she was pranking me, checked my email and there it was. The tears did not stop! It was absolute CHAOS after that. My friends and I met up at our favorite café to regroup. It was just the saddest thing. We basically had a little more than a week in Madrid, until Friday March 21st. Most of us bought tickets then. For the rest of the day, some of us went and got tattoos, we went shopping, we cried, we drank. We had about 2 or 3 “good days”, before we got another email saying we had to leave the country as soon as possible.

It was so weird being in the city. More and more places were closed and had signs that they were staying home because of the virus. The streets were getting emptier by the day. Madrid wasn’t Madrid anymore. I remember wanting to get souvenirs at this boutique but that was barred up and closed, wanting to get a coffee at Bicicleta Cafe but that was closed. Even ZARA was closed. Thats when I knew. The city had a heartbreaking eerie feeling. It was also a scary feeling being there as a Chinese person. We all know that anti-Asian sentiment has been increasing since this, but racism in Spain is different. It is more accidental because it is engrained into the culture. I remember just being more aware of myself. One night I was getting food at this restaurant with a friend and it was just down the street from our residencia. This homeless person came literally out of the shadows and started following my friend and I, and he was yelling these things at me. He was angry and terrifying. He was following us until we got into the restaurant and he was saying things, but the only words I got out of it was “filipinos… chinos… todos muertos…. virus”. He then followed us for a little bit when we left the restaurant, he was in the corner waiting for us to come out. I was scared and shaken, and told my friends who were home in the residencia what happened.

Getting a ticket home was a whole, horribly annoying and expensive process. The days leading up to it were tough, to say the least, but also in a way relieving because the way the city was so empty and silent, it was painful. Our very last night, we went over to our friends apartment and cooked a big meal together, like we did when we first got there. We tried to make the best of it and be as thankful as we could. That night was also the first night when people started clapping for first responders and essential workers from their balconies. It was so beautiful and magical. I will never forget that. Later that night, some of us rented scooters and bikes and we rode around the city like a coming of age movie. The seven of us, feeling every emotion ever, went around to our favorite spots to say goodbye for now, and had the city to ourselves for a moment. Only a few people were out, one walking her dog, and yelling at us because we weren’t staying home, a couple police cars that were driving up the streets but left us alone, and the occasional shout from a window telling us to get home.

Well, after that time and space became different, as we all know. A chaotic, beautiful, sad, dramatic story to tell. I am grateful for all I had to experience, the lessons I learned, the people I met, and I know I will see Madrid soon! :’)

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