So I’ve taken Spanish for a long time. 7 freaking years. But it’s occurred to me that I only recently even started trying to learn Spanish. Don’t get me wrong, I got the grades to make it here, and I had the basics down as I went. But I didn’t actually try for an inconceivably long time. Learning a language because you want to and because you have to take one for school are two very different situations, and I was a weird mix of both for a long time. That’s why study abroad is such a daunting idea for me. This idea of integrating into a culture and a language that I am not necessarily a stranger to, but is still somewhat foreign to me, is terrifying. I became a Spanish major because I was good at it. Like most people. But I could have changed my mind at any time in the past couple years on that decision. I’m tremendously happy I didn’t, of course, but I totally could have. I’m looking forward to going to Barcelona as much as I dread it. I love the city, but the idea of being surrounded by a language I know through a very narrow scope is intimidating. Be that as it may, I have high hopes for my experience. I want to grow as a person through this, and prove that I do actually belong as a Spanish major. Activities like Holyoke Bound have taught me the value of learning the language, and programs at UMass like the Catalan program have taught me that there is more to “Spanish” than just the language. Despite my personal reservations, I couldn’t be more excited about being able to explore what it means to be a part of Spanish culture, and what it’s like to be an outsider in another culture. I may have taken over 7 years of Spanish, but I still have a lot to learn. And that’s exciting in its own right.