Re-Visiting Adrienne Rich

Adrienne Rich, the poet, essayist, and feminist, died last week. When I learned of her death, I was, of course, sadden, and then her words about revision—“[r]e-vision—the act of looking back, of seeing with fresh eyes, of entering an old text from a new critical direction…”[1] came to mind. It wasn’t too odd that her words came to me, because these words from her essay “When We Dead Awaken: Writing as Re-Vision” are never too far from my mind. It was through Rich’s essay that I really understood the meaning of revision as a continuous process.

Although Rich’s work has influenced my work as a feminist writer on many levels and in many ways, it is this concept of re-seeing or re-visioning that I carry into the writing classroom. I work to move my students away from thinking that drafting and revision are about getting to the perfect text as quickly as possible. I ask them to think of the texts they create as never done; to see their work as ever-changing pieces of writing. I encourage my students to acknowledge, to articulate, to examine the eyes they see, read, and understand with. I do this by writing “revision” on the board as “Re-Vision.” I do this by designing exercises that ask them to re-see what they have written.  I do this by paraphrasing Rich—Remember, revision is not about fixing or correcting. It’s about the act of re-seeing.   

If you haven’t read “When We Dead Awaken: Writing as Re-Vision” (of if you haven’t read it in a while) I encourage you to do so. You will find the piece in many anthologies, but also here at this link: http://www.nbu.bg/webs/amb/american/5/rich/writing.htm.

 As Rich invites us to return to “old texts” with fresh eyes, I invite you to share your “old texts,” here, with all of us. If there is a text that has influenced your work as a writer and a teacher of writing, please share it with us.   

 


[1] From Adrienne Rich’s essay “When We Dead Awaken: Writing as Re-Vision” from On Lies, Secret, and Silence: Selected Prose 1966-1978

The Do Nothing Teacher

This semester I’m teaching an experimental writing workshop. The class has 12 students and we meet once a week for 2 1/2 hours. The course is divided into three units and for each unit the students complete a writing project. The day the unit projects are due we spend the majority of the class reading one another’s projects. I should clarify here. The students spend the majority of the class reading one another’s projects. I spend the majority of the class doing nothing. I do have a pedagogical reason for doing nothing—since I’m going to collect and comment on all the projects I want to give the students the opportunity to read as many of their colleagues’ pieces as possible. I also find the discussion we have about the projects to be so much more productive because I have yet to read them. The students must carry on the discussion without me interrupting constantly with my 2 cents. So while the students are reading through their projects, I’m sitting there trying to look like I’m doing something. Sometimes I write in my notebook, sometimes I read the book I’ve assigned for the following week. I’ve considered bringing my laptop in order to do get some work done while they’re reading, but I don’t want them to think I’m checking my email or on Facebook (just for the record, I don’t have a Facebook page). I’ve also considered using that time to read, but I thought I would feel funny reading while they are working. I feel I must do or at least look like I’m doing something that is class related.

 This also happens to me when I teach College Writing. I set up the peer review activity or some other kind of revision activity and then I watch the students work. Sometimes I sit at the “teacher” desk in the front of the room, open up my lesson planning book and look at it. Sometimes I stand by the blackboard and pretend I’m gauging their progress with the activity. Periodically I circulate the room under the pretense of checking in with them, but really it’s only to give me something to do while they were working. During these days, like in my experimental writing class, I’ve been tempted to pull out a book to read. But it doesn’t feel right. I don’t want them to look up and see me reading The Hunger Games when I’m supposed to be teaching the class.

 I don’t think I’m alone with this problem. In fact I think this is a common problem in writing classes. When the students are writing in class, doing peer review, doing any kind of activity either in groups or individually, what is the teacher supposed to be doing?

We think that as teachers we are supposed to be doing something in the classroom. And of course we aren’t wrong in thinking this—we are supposed to be teaching the class. But sometimes we think teaching means we should be explaining something, lecturing about something, telling the students something, calling on people, and answering questions. Sitting at the desk, reading a novel is not teaching the class. So while the class is actively engaged in peer review, there can be such a strong temptation to interrupt the students as they work. Sometimes I catch myself interrupting them to further explain something, letting them work for a while and then interrupting again to tell them something else. Sometimes I find myself pacing around the room and hovering over them as they read and write. I don’t think any of this really helps them learn.

 Since this is such a strong temptation and since doing nothing can make me uncomfortable in my own class, I need to keep reminding myself that teaching just doesn’t take place in the classroom. Every teacher knows that all the work we do outside of the classroom – the papers we read and respond to, all the prep work, all the lesson planning is all a part of our teaching. But when I’m in the classroom pretending to be doing something “teacherly,” I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve already done a lot of my work as a teacher before I’ve walked in. The lesson plan I’ve designed for a peer review day or a revision activity is my teaching. And since writing is an activity that is best learned by doing, creating the space for the students to work through the activity and letting them do it is teaching the class even if on the surface it looks like I’m not doing anything.

Of course it’s difficult, and of course I’m not saying I would ever be comfortable with putting my feet up on the desk, drinking coffee, and reading the paper while the students are working. But I’m working at being more comfortable with taking on the role of time manager, being quiet, and getting out of the students’ way so they can learn.

Romanticizing the Fall

Spring semester is different. I know that may seem obvious—the weather is different, the holidays are different, and the students are different. Or are they?

When I teach in the spring it seems I spend a lot of time comparing my spring class to my fall class. I come back from my first classes and I think, “Gee, this group seems so different from my class in the fall. This group seems quieter. Funny, they don’t always seem to ‘get’ what I’m saying– especially my jokes.”

My perceived difference in the students gets confirmed. Many of the teachers I work with come into my office and say the same thing. “This class seems so different from the class I taught in the fall.”

“How so?” I’ll ask checking to see if they notice the same kinds of things I do.

“They’re so quiet,” the teachers will say. “My class in the fall was more talkative. This class seems kind of hesitant. In my fall class I could ask them to do anything and they would just do it. This class. . .”

“Well, they are different students,” I’ll say. “Your fall class was mostly made up of first- semester students, students who had never been to college before. This group is different. They have already been through one semester of college.”

“Right,” the teachers will say.

But one day when I was having this conversation with a teacher, I said something different. When she said that her class was quiet I said, “Well, it is the beginning of the semester.”

“Oh right,” she said. “The students are always quiet the first couple of weeks.”

And then it hit me. She was right. Students are always quiet the first few classes and they are always a bit cautious. They don’t know me as a teacher yet and I don’t know them as students. And then I realized something else.

When I think about any of my previous classes, rarely do I think about the first couple of weeks. I remember my previous classes as they were mid-semester on, when we, as a class, had settled in and hit our stride. I also tend to remember fondly the good days of the semester and forget the not so great days. In other words, like we all do with many things, I tend to romanticize the past. I remember my previous classes when we had already worked through the awkwardness of the first weeks of the semester, when the students already knew what I meant when I talked about the rhetorical triangle and they already trusted me when I said I wanted them to take risks in their writing.

So even though I know this, something still bothers me. Why do I still catch myself comparing my spring class to my fall class? Why do I rarely compare my fall class to my previous spring class? I’m still thinking there is a difference between spring and fall and that difference has to do with distance. The memory of the last half of my fall class has yet to be a distant memory. The break between the semesters doesn’t seem to be enough time for me to really separate these two classes. The spring semester doesn’t have the same sense of “newness” that the fall semester has. In the fall we begin a new academic year. The spring semester we are coming back to continue on with the same academic year. This contributes to the feeling I have when I walk into my spring class that we should just be picking up where we left off before the break. Of course the problem is, these aren’t the same students I had before the break, and it’s unfair of me to expect them to know what I’ve yet to teach them. The spring semester takes a little adjustment on my part, an adjustment to see the beginning of spring semester as a beginning as well, the same kind of beginning that the fall is.

So now when teachers tell me their spring classes seem different I ask them to remember the beginning of their fall classes.

“Oh,” they say. “Those students were pretty quiet too.”

“You know,” I say, “you may be romanticizing the fall.”

“You know,” they say, “you may be right.”

“Don’t worry,” I tell them. “This class will get there too. And soon they’ll be getting your jokes.”

Teacher Dreams

It’s the first day of classes. I go to my class. The students are all there sitting quietly looking at me. I put my bag on top of the teacher’s desk and begin taking my stuff out. I take out my pen, my grade book, the class roster, and my lesson planning book. I look in my bag, but I don’t see the syllabus. I look again. I know I made copies of the syllabus. I’m supposed to give it out and go over it with the students.  I look in my bag again. The copies I made aren’t there. I begin to panic. Did I leave the syllabus on my desk? Did I drop the copies in the hallway on my way to class? Did I leave the copies home? I look in my bag again. The syllabus still isn’t there. I look out at the students. They are all staring at me. What am I going to do??  
 
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I don’t have the syllabus.”
 
The students stand up.
 
“What are you doing?”  I say. The students don’t say anything. They just stand there.
 
“Sit down,” I say beginning to panic. They don’t. “Please,” I plead. “Please sit down.”
 
“We don’t have to listen to you,” a student yells at me.
 
“We don’t have to do what you tell us to do,” another student shouts.
 
“Sit down,” I shout back. The students start moving towards the door. “Where are you going?” I shout. “What are you doing?” I shout louder. “Come back here.”
 
“We don’t have to do what you say,” several students shout as they walk out the door.
 
“Come back,” I yell because I don’t know what else to do.
 
“We don’t have to listen to you,” a student shouts at me.
 
“You aren’t the teacher,” they begin to chant. “You aren’t the teacher!”
 
And then I wake up.
 
When I first started teaching I thought these teacher anxiety dreams would go away. I believed that after a couple of semesters, I would have this whole teaching thing down, so that walking into a classroom and facing a group of students would be like walking into the grocery store, buying gas, brushing my teeth—something I’ve done so many times I could do it in my sleep.
 
But that has not been the case. Before the start of each semester the dreams still come and the butterflies that filled my stomach before I walked into my very first class are also still there.
 
Once, I did consider quitting. One afternoon in my second year of graduate school, I was walking across campus to my class. I had worked out my lesson plan the night before, but now, on my way to class, I was questioning it. What if the exercise I had planned didn’t work? What if the students didn’t like it? What if it took longer than I thought? What if it didn’t take as long as I thought? As I was working through all these “what if’s,” I found myself getting nervous, the butterflies growing in my stomach. I stopped, took a deep breath and thought, “Am I really going to be able to do this every day of my life?”  I took another deep breath and went to class where everything went fine.
 
But the idea of quitting stayed in the back of my mind until one day while sitting in a teaching practicum required of all students in our graduate program, our professor said in his usual off-hand manner, “Teaching is one of those things—for the amount of time you actually spend doing it, you spend more time worrying about what you are going to do before you do it, and then after you have done it you spend even more time worrying about what you did until it’s time to start worrying about your next class.” I looked around the room and everyone was nodding in agreement. Then it hit me. I wasn’t the only one to have butterflies and anxiety dreams.  It was normal to wonder, to question, to constantly reflect on your teaching practices. This is what teachers do.
 
And I have come to realize that questioning, wondering, and reflecting is something I need to do as a teacher. I’ve learned that my anxiety dreams are more about the anticipation of something new that is about to begin, rather than about my fears the students will walk out on me. Although I have taught the same course many times, the dreams and the butterflies remind me that I’ll be meeting and working with new student/writers who will offer me their own insights on things that will cause me to wonder and to question my own perspectives. The constant what if’s that run through my head on my walks to class serve to remind me that I’m not teaching a course, but rather I’m working with a group of people—all with various experiences as writers, readers, and thinkers. The start of the semester is just that—the start of something new and something I certainly don’t want to do in my sleep.