Compared to the distances I am required to conceptualize on the daily for my major (trillions of miles to the nearest star) 5,000 miles shouldn’t seem too far. I have traveled these distances before, even flown through Germany. But this time it feels very different and 5,000 miles stands for something a lot greater. It encompasses how far I’ll be from familiar faces, how different my life is going to be and how much I still need to do to prepare myself for these changes.
Going into college, I always knew I would study abroad. It seemed worked into my idealized college experience, but unlike other things that changed throughout school it remained something I knew I had to do. I have always had the idea in my head that I want to experience living in Europe. I have traveled there for small periods of time and have found myself fascinated by how different I felt. Although it may have been the whirlwind of travel, I felt constantly excited and at the same time relaxed as if I had all the time in the world. I loved this feeling, and I wanted to live in it for longer than two weeks. This feeling lead me to look for somewhere in Europe to study abroad. From there my decision was guided by one thing; the possible opportunities that awaited me for furthering my education in physics and astronomy. And, really what other place is there to go than a country that has produced some of the greatest minds in this field. Not only could I study and adventure in Germany, I could be surrounded by a rich scientific history and I felt very drawn towards this.
There is a lot that I do not know about Germany or German culture. Aside from the minute pieces of advice and two-cents I have gotten from people whom I have shared the destination of my new home, it remains a mystery. As does the language, an even scarier thought. But even as I am suspended in a space of unknown, I have preconceptions of it as a place and culture as I often have when heading into uncharted territory. I feel as though I am going to really like the people. Perhaps this is more of a desire than a feeling but I still enjoy having the beliefs that I will easily connect and develop new kinds of friendships. While I have these optimistic thoughts, I naturally have some fear moving to a new place and having to reconstruct support systems and satisfy the social expectations I create as an anxious extrovert. Not only this, but given the current political situation in our country I am all but looking forward to any judgements or stereotypes that may sit over my head as an American.
Until I spend more time learning what it really means to live in Germany and experience the culture I believe my preconceived notions will be guiding my actions and choices. I want to spend the first few weeks staying quiet about situations or topics I do not know much about, while listening to others to form my own opinion for future conversations. I will be reading local news papers to gain a better understanding of the atmosphere around me as I know I am not yet informed enough to have certain types of discussions. Beyond that, my desire to connect with locals especially, will push me to try new foods and adapt to the lifestyle as much as I can.
While learning how to live will be one challenge, another is going to be actually attending school. As of right now, I really do not know what to expect. I don’t know how hard my astronomy class will be, I don’t know what my other classes are going to be yet, and I don’t even know how I’ll be getting to my research internship every week. My only expectation right now, of myself and the program, is that I learn as much as I can. I have found in college that bracing for a hard class or getting frustrated with unknowns does not impact how much I’ll learn. At the end of the day I expect myself to go outside of my comfort zone, and always produce my best work and I expect my program to show me learning in different ways than if I was at home.
Although my main focus is my major and related classes, my time abroad is going to be an opportunity for me to take different classes and expand my breadth of knowledge. I want to participate in a classes where I will get a more global point of view both in the sciences and humanities. I want to learn more about observational astronomy but also how to be a better creative writer. In terms of difficulty, I anticipate that my classes will be more challenging in terms of material and depth, yet will have somewhat less busy work. Most importantly, I envision the professors being extremely bright with a lot of knowledge to share.
However, learning how to learn in a different environment is going to be difficult. I am very comfortable with my campus, the people in my major and the way classes are structured. Entering a new space of learning, especially surrounded by a different language is intimidating. I am unsure of the expectations held for me academically and I do not want the pressure to meet them to take over the focus of my study abroad. Leaving the campus I am used to is going to be strange at first, but I am really excited to learn about another school and how to tackle the unique challenges it presents. Moving everything about my life, the academic, social and cultural aspects, to a new destination used to be very hard for me, and I still know that I am going to go through a period of transition. However, my focus on getting to make yet another city feel like home keeps me positive and excited. Not only that but I am going to get to ground my academic and research interests half way across the world, something that may open doors for me later in my career.
As sad as it can be to leave familiarity and embrace change, there are some aspects of my life here I am ready to be apart from. I love my home institution and the opportunities it’s given me, but being able to learn in another place where I am aiming not to put as much pressure on myself will be very healthy for me mentally and even academically. Living in a place of slower pace I think will be a good change to experience and I am really ready to meet people with a more global perspective. However, with that being said I am going to miss all my friends who I am used to seeing at school and the community I have there. I am also going to miss for a while the confidence I have knowing the customs of the culture I live in as well as the language. Until I familiarize myself with my surroundings, I will miss the comfort of being somewhere I know, however I know this will be temporary and that the excitement of adventure will keep me positive until I settle in.
The unseen challenges I am certain I will face will require flexibility and stepping out of my comfort zone. So as of right now instead of worrying about what could go wrong while I’m 5,000 miles from home, I will be constantly reminding myself how incredible this opportunity is and how important it is for my growth as a scientist and a human being.
Stay tuned for more adventures.