For so much of my life, I have wondered and dreamed about traveling. I knew from a very young age that I did not want to have the typical 9-5 office job, and I have curated my academic journey to fulfill my dreams of traveling the world. Some of my longest standing passions have been to learn from as many different people, and to see as much of the world, as possible. I decided on a Spanish major when I was making college decisions because I knew I wanted to enter a career that would help to fulfill these passions. Aside from loving languages, my Spanish classes at UMass have sparked an interest and love for the Spanish-speaking world and the amount of diversity that it encompasses. As soon as I learned what studying abroad meant, I knew I wanted to take the opportunity. Choosing where I wanted to study was a little daunting at first, but eventually I decided on Barcelona and I couldn’t be more excited about what’s to come.
From talking with students who previously studied in Barcelona, and from some research of my own, I learned that Barcelona is a culturally diverse city with incredible architecture, amazing food, and new experiences. Although I am confident in my choice to study abroad and I feel excitement more than anything else, there are still some aspects of leaving that are intimidating.
One of my main goals of going to a Spanish-speaking country for an extended period of time is to push myself out of my comfort zone in terms of my Spanish abilities. Although I have studied Spanish for almost 9 years now, I still find my nerves getting the best of me and forgetting much of my vocabulary when I go to speak to someone. I can understand most conversations and know what I want to say, but when I go to put this into practice, I get nervous and would rather say nothing at all. I want to use my time in Barcelona to really expand my vocabulary and practice whenever possible, in hopes of becoming more fluent. This endeavor is slightly intimidating, but in the end I know that native speakers often appreciate the effort.
Additionally, an aspect of studying abroad that is often overlooked is relationships from home that are being left behind. Personally, I have been in a romantic relationship for almost a year now and leaving for Spain requires a big shift in this relationship. I know that I will experience a new level of independence while away, and I am very excited about this. With that being said, it is a confusing mix of excitement and disappointment that I will be leaving friendships and relationships that I treasure so much. Because many people do not talk about this aspect of studying abroad, it has been confusing to navigate. There is no rulebook telling you the best way to go about this, and I have found that this is one of the first big life decisions that I have to manage by myself. I have ruminated and reflected on these contrasting feelings, and have come to the conclusion that, although is it unfortunate that I will be away from these relationships, it will be an opportunity to grow individually. I might never again get an opportunity to travel in the same way with the same accommodations and it is a time to take advantage of all that it has to offer.
Being that this has been an experience that I have been anticipating for so long, I worry that I will not absorb as much as I am hoping that I will. I have set certain “goals” for myself, but I think I have turned them into expectations that I feel I need to fulfill. I worry that I won’t be living in the moment when I am there but I am actively trying to combat this feeling. In the end, I know that regardless of my expectations, this experience will be life changing. This is an opportunity to expand my perception of the world and learn about a completely new way of life. I am beyond excited despite my worries!